Deal
by GreenVelvetCurtains
Summary: Jane introduces Thor to the great Midgardian tradition of being made to remove your clothing when you lose a hand of poker. Everybody wins!


When the suggestion had first been raised Erik Selvig declined straight off, beating a hasty retreat to his trailer for an early night. Darcy had been keen as ever, but now even she seemed to have disappeared, having melted away while he wasn't looking. Not that Thor had spent much time looking in her direction after Jane started shedding her clothes. The woman currently sitting opposite him in little more than her underthings was too much of an attraction, or perhaps _dis_traction, for him to notice much of anything else.

It was just the two of them now, and if this game were any less successful when reduced to so few participants Thor was sure he hadn't noticed.

They were playing something called poker. First for small plastic discs, and when all of Jane's sat in a neat little towers before him, clothes. It wasn't the initial proposition of Stud, which he gathered was some sort of reference to his manliness, but rather a less complex variation called 5 card draw. Whatever its name, he was good at this game.

Apparently it was some sort of rite of passage here on Midgard, to consume beer, play cards and watch as your opponent was made to remove items of apparel with each losing hand. And Thor intended to embrace that tradition as wholeheartedly as he had done everything else since his recent return.

He cooked, he cleaned. The ladies set him manual tasks that once performed invariably left him sweaty and in need of a shower. They took him to their tavern, they included him in their games. They even dragged him shopping and bought him clothing. It may have left him feeling a bit like an oversized doll in their game of dress-up, but he wasn't a prince or a god here, he was simply one of the guys.

One of their latest acquisitions was currently perched on top of his head. He'd really wanted one of those helmets designed for holding cans of the lager concoction he was drinking - another excellent beverage the Midgardians had invented - but Jane had put her foot down. And while the substitute wasn't especially to his taste, it had the girls clapping their hands together in enthusiastic approval when he put it on so he accepted the gift with characteristic good grace.

Whatever their reactions though, he was still keen to bet the inadequate cloth contraption the first chance he got. But both Jane and Darcy's pleading and pouting had convinced him to leave it in place and sacrifice his New Mexico Thunderbirds t-shirt instead. And the resulting wolfish grins and whistles emanating from them had been reward enough for his male ego.

Thor didn't mind too much anyway. As Darcy had been quick to point out, the navy blue material of his Roswell Invaders cap did bring out the colour of his eyes very nicely.

The upshot was that he sat bare-chested opposite a decidedly more unclothed scientist. He liked the way her eyes kept wandering southward from his face when she thought he wasn't looking. Fortunately he knew she was too distracted by what was sitting in front of her to notice he was doing precisely the same thing.

He spread another successful hand across the table and watched appreciatively as his opponent shimmied out of her skimpy floral skirt.

A self-satisfied smile had been plastered on his face for nearly half an hour. He was good at this game, a natural talent even, and poor Jane simply was not. In fact for such a brilliant mind, she was surprisingly bad at it.

While he'd concede there wasn't much apparent skill to this pursuit, the Gods of Luck must still be smiling on him tonight. He'd won nearly every single hand, with the exception of the first few when Darcy had still been playing. But surely they could hardly be counted when he was brand new to it and in need of a couple of practice runs to discern exactly how things worked. Since they'd been reduced to just two, he'd hardly lost a round. Jane on the other hand, was running decidedly low on clothes.

Thor shovelled a handful of nachos into his mouth, yet another earthly culinary delight he was thankful for, and watched Jane wriggle out of her pantyhose.

He'd beaten her on several occasions with collections of cards in all one colour. A pair of fives had removed her sweater and a couple of hands of different suited face cards had relieved her of her shoes.

Even when he was certain he must have nothing, she checked, declared 'low card wins' and returned another item to her wardrobe. There appeared so many possibilities Thor was pleased she at least knew the rules even if extraordinary misfortune prevented her from successfully following them.

He shuffled inexpertly before doling out the next hand.

"Let's see what you've got."

He showed Jane his selection of even numbered cards.

"Too good. I Fold."

She removed her camisole, giving him a nice view of her lace-covered breasts.

Thor shifted a little uneasily in his chair.

She was sitting across from him in just her underwear now, with the result that _his _were becoming increasingly and uncomfortably tight. Luckily his not so little problem was well concealed by the sturdy denim he wore, the napkin across his lap and the table between them.

She collected the cards, shuffled, cut the deck and dealt another hand**. **They exchanged what they didn't want before he asked, "Well?"

Jane took a deep breath.

"I'll bet you this," she indicted to the flimsy item imprisoning her breasts with a wave of her hand, "for… everything you have on."

His heart skipped a beat and before his higher brain could recover itself he was shouting out "Deal!".

"Do you require any more cards?"

"Nope."

"Neither do I."

"Ok, let's see what you got, big boy."

He grinned and slapped his hand down on the table with an enthusiastic _Ha_! at winning another round.

Two sevens. Not bad. "Don't count your chickens just yet," she wagged her finger at him as she eyed the cards laid out before her.

"I have no chickens," he replied a little bemused.

"Exactly."

She placed her cards on the table, one by one, for him to see.

Nine, ten, prince…

Queen.

King.

All black, all from the same three-leafed clover suit.

"Wha-?" Thor blinked to make sure he was seeing right. But- _How_? Had his concentration failed him? Had too much beer fogged his brain? She'd made unhappy faces, groaned and sighed with each new card she received. Just like every other hand she'd lost. At first he was dumbfounded, then he was disbelieving. And then he was angry.

"You cheated!" He accused, jumping to his feet and almost upsetting the table.

"How did I cheat?" she asked innocently. "It's not as if I have anywhere to hide cards." She stood too, hands raised and twirled in a slow circle to give him definitive proof of her lack of places to conceal anything.

Thor swallowed hard and soldiered on. "But- your face, your mannerisms. You led me to believe you had nothing of value when all the time your hand was good! It was a dirty trick, Jane. Until now I couldn't conceive of dishonour in you." He looked genuinely disappointed and Jane couldn't help but laugh.

"You know how you pretend to understand everything Darcy says when in reality you haven't got a clue?" His eyes flashed to her face at the accusation. "It's called bluffing."

She grinned broadly and he suddenly realised how stupid he was. It wasn't the poker face she'd mentioned, nor the subtle tell he'd been looking for. She'd let it all hang out for him and he'd fallen into her trap, hook, line and sinker. He'd been too caught up in the winning to realise she was just biding her time til the right cards came her way.

He pulled the stupid cap from his head and flung it away in disgust, before slumping back down into his chair in a dejected heap.

For a moment Jane's smile faltered, then began to fade as she looked at him uncertainly. "You're upset with me."

"If you'd been letting me win I should be upset." He didn't like to be taken for a fool. Thor heaved a heavy sigh. "You bested me, Jane. I concede defeat, even if I disapprove of your underhanded tactics. A good fighter can appreciate his opponent's stratagem in battle, even if it leaves him vanquished in the end."

The grin returned.

"Time to pay your debt then, mister." She sashayed around the table toward him. Thor sat in stony silence, staring resolutely ahead as she lifted his legs one by one to remove his socks.

"Stand up."

He obeyed without a word.

She helped pull him to his feet and he sucked in an unsteady breath as her hands went to the waistband of his jeans and worked the buttons. He was suddenly feeling very attached to those trousers. Their stiff material had helped conceal that growing problem he'd been keeping secret for the past ten minutes at least.

"Last chance to change your mind," she warned.

But Thor was a man of his word. He'd agreed to this madness, he would take his punishment like the warrior he was. He studied the opposite wall intently not daring to look at her face as he felt the heavy fabric slip from his hips and take up residence around his ankles.

She pushed him back down and fought to pull the jeans off over his feet. Jane made no mention of his not so little problem for which he was grateful.

She slithered back up his body, fingers walking up his chest til his sullen face came back into view. She studied him for a moment and frowned. "You still think I deceived you. Would it make you feel any better if I put something back on?"

Before he could reply _no_, she picked up the Thunderbirds T he'd tossed onto the arm of the couch and pulled it over her head. It may have been fitted on him but the material reached almost to her knees. He gaped a little, closed his mouth, then let it drop open again.

Jane was wearing his shirt.

It made him hot.

His girl, his shirt. His little thunderbird.

She reached behind her back, then shot a hand up the sleeve and pulled a strap over her bent elbow. He watched in mesmerised silence. In a flash the other hand disappeared up the opposite sleeve and she was pulling out her undergarment and dangling it in front of his face. Thor was impressed, and turned on and unhappy all at once. It was a confusing mixture of emotions.

He tried to maintain his indignation and keep on track.

"That defeats the purpose, Jane. If you put something on only to remove something else, well then they just cancel each other _mmmph!-_"

She swooped in, taking him by surprise and silenced him with a kiss. As she pulled back she touched her forefinger to his lips, held his gaze and murmured, "Do you know what getting naked with someone is generally a precursor to here on earth?"

Oh. His little problem grew a even larger.

"You are attempting to seduce me."

"Smart guy. I knew you'd catch on eventually." She leaned in even closer. He could feel the heat emanating from her, smell the fruity scent of her shampoo. "So are you beginning to appreciate my underhanded tactics now?"

He nodded mutely.

"Good," she took his hand and pulled him back up to standing, "because I believe you still owe me one item of clothing."

Thor decided perhaps he'd been dealt a winning hand after all.

FIN.

_Thanks for reading. :)_


End file.
